Rise From The Ashes
by wizardofahz
Summary: JJ does whatever it takes to protect her family. The problem? Her family includes a lot of people. A fact Doyle fully intends to capitalize on.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own _Criminal Minds_. That is why I write fanfiction. If you can't pick up on my sarcasm, then let me be clear. I DO NOT own _CM_; all I own is the happiness I get from watching and fantasizing.

A/N: I've always spun fanfic ideas in my head, but I've never actually carried a plot through its entirety. I'm hoping that posting here will force me to actually think more extensively about plot details and finish what I've started.

I know season 7 spoilers have started to emerge, but I'm ignoring all that for this story because I can.

I like inside jokes, so they'll be buried here and there throughout the story. There'll be references to fandom, actors and their non-_CM_ roles, etc. I hope you have fun picking them out.

I am a stickler for canon. HUGE stickler for it, which is of course why it drives me crazy when canon is not consistent, but that's a story for another time. (I included this little tidbit as a clue as to how I write. Essentially, you won't find non-canon relationships here.) I also have Grammar Nazi tendencies, so if you've found that I made a mistake, please tell me. I don't like being hypocritical.

I character-tagged Hotch because he's important to JJ and therefore to this plot. He may not show up for a while, but I promise he will eventually.

And now, let the games begin…

* * *

><p>"<em>Will, please! Just take him and go!"<em>

"_JJ," Will started to protest, but she quickly cut him off._

"_Fly to Portuga__l__…" JJ peeked around the corner and fired off a couple of shots. "__…u__se the passport in this briefcase. The details of__…__" She pushed Will further down the hall as the wall next to them was bombarded with bullets. "__…y__our and Henry's new identities are in there. You can –" Will tried shielding a whimpering Henry as best he could while he too fired his weapon. "__…f__amiliarize yourself on the plane."_

"_And how __exactly __am I__…__"__Henry started crying in earnest. "__…s__upposed to get…__" Will tried bouncing Henry. "…__to the airport?"_

_JJ handed him a pair of keys. "There's an SUV, license plate CMS7E01…" They both had to duck as plaster exploded above their heads. "…at the base of Moore Court." JJ pulled Will closer to her, so she could keep her voice down. "When you get to Portugal, my people will meet you there."_

"_Where in Portugal?"_

"_Anywhere," JJ answered while firing her gun. "The identity is flagged. They'll find your destination and have people waiting for you there."_

"_How will I know who they are?"_

"_Details in the briefcase. I'm sorry, Will. I'm really, really sorry, Henry. Mama loves you. Will, you have to…" A bullet tore its way through JJ's left shoulder. "Go!" _

_JJ shoved Will – and Henry – towards the backdoor and maneuvered her way back to the demolished living room. Spying a broken drawer, she quickly moved towards it and grabbed a pen. Ignoring her throbbing shoulder, JJ attempted to take out Doyle's remaining men until she heard the click of her empty magazine. _

"_All right, Doyle!" JJ yelled and stood to reveal herself. "You got me!" _

_JJ dropped her gun to the floor. Doyle was quick to approach, grin fully formed on his face. "And you thought you could get away. Silly, silly girl."_

_JJ fingered the pen in her sleeve. She eyed his carotid arteries, waiting for the right angle and time._

_Doyle turned to a few of his remaining men. "Connor, Liam, go after the boy and his father."_

_"NO," JJ protested. And in that moment, JJ made a quick decision. She quickly threw the pen. It nested itself squarely in the center of Connor's behind. He fell to the floor, howling in pain. Liam hesitated. To help or not to help?_

_Doyle screamed at him, "Forget him, Liam! Go after the family!__ Shane, join him!__"_

_JJ closed her eyes and prayed that Will and Henry would get away to safety._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: see Chapter 1

A/N: As is fanfic convention (I think), anything in italics indicates a flashback, and normal script indicates "present time" so to speak.

The reference in this chapter is blatantly MGG-related.

As you can see from this chapter, JJ will come out of the whole ordeal alive. That doesn't mean, however, that everyone else does as well.

To those who reviewed, thank you! You are now the lights of my life.

* * *

><p>"I could have killed him." JJ paced around the room. Dr. Simon Zissou carefully followed her frenetic movements. "Then none of this would've happened."<p>

"Him?" Dr. Zissou asked, though JJ sensed he knew exactly whom she was talking about.

"Doyle."

"But you didn't."

"No, I made a choice. I chose my family. I chose to give them more time. I don't even know if they needed it. I just – I had to be sure."

"It was a difficult decision." Dr. Zissou tried to look her in the eyes, but she was still pacing, eyes glued to the floor.

JJ snorted. "But was it the right one?"

"You tell me."

"I don't know." JJ's path became wilder. Dr. Zissou had the suspicion that, if it'd been possible, she would've found her way onto the walls and perhaps even the ceiling.

"Agent Jareau, would you please sit down?" JJ froze for a second and then complied. Her eyes remained fixated on the floor. "What do you think would've happened if you'd killed Doyle instead?"

"His people would've killed me. And when – if – his people caught Will and Henry, they would have been killed too."

"Do you think that would have been better? That's three people dead. I wouldn't say that's much of an improvement."

JJ's voice was quiet. "I don't know what to think."

Silence fell, and Dr. Zissou took the opportunity to observe JJ. She was strangely still. The nervous energy that had manifested itself so loudly was suddenly contained, apparent only in the aura JJ didn't seem to notice. Dr. Zissou was sure that had JJ been completely cognizant of herself that too would have been evaporated in favor of the façade of control she was reportedly so fond of.

"Ok then. Let's try a different track," Dr. Zissou suggested. "You didn't kill – what was his name? – Connor? either."

"No."

"Why? I'd imagine at a time like that keeping a moral high ground hardly seems important."

"Like I said, I was trying to buy time. I kill him, and the other guy pretty much has only one option: continue on. But with Connor alive, he also has the option to stay and help. That decision, any sort of hesitation, it eats up time. Every second counts."

Dr. Zissou nodded. "Why not grab more than one pen?"

"The element of surprise is only there the first time around. There's no way I would've been able to do it again."

Dr. Zissou made a note to himself: appealing to JJ's favored senses of rationale and control seemed to be working better. "You can take comfort in the fact that he didn't get to your family."

"Not that family."

JJ's eyes finally met his. Her astoundingly blue eyes – both tumbling vortices of pain, tragedy, and regret – bored through his, and for the first time, he truly understood the connection between the color blue and the deep, unfortunate emotion of sadness.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: see Chapter 1.

A/N: I introduce and mention more original characters here, and each of them is – in name – a reference to Thomas Gibson and some of the _CM _writers (both past and present).

* * *

><p><em>"Colonel, can I have a word with you?" JJ asked before he could escape the room. The meeting had just ended, and she was determined to speak with him before things could get out of hand.<em>

_He stopped and turned, his stance resembling that of a petulant child._

_"I need to know why I'm getting such attitude from you?"_

_Though he clearly understood what she was asking and why, he merely responded with a surly, "What?"_

_"If this team is going to run smoothly, then we need to stop butting heads. So what is it about me that bothers you? Am I too young? Too inexperienced? Too much of a bureaucrat?"_

_The Colonel sighed. "This may surprise you, but it's none of those."_

_JJ was confused. "Then what?"_

_"There are a lot of lives at stake. How can I trust you with that when I know you don't even want to be here," he stated vehemently. "I know how hard you tried to avoid this post."_

_"It's true I'd rather be back at the BAU," she acknowledged. "But I'm here now, and don't think for a second that I won't put all my efforts into doing this job right. And yes, part of that is looking out for everyone. I hope after this mission, you'll be able to recognize that," she said and strode out of the room._

* * *

><p><em>It had been a grueling first case: insurgents, IEDs, misinterpreted intel. But her people had all made it home, and that was all that mattered.<em>

_JJ stood in front of her squad and addressed them._

_"There are a couple of things about me that you should know. First I do whatever it takes to protect my family, and you are now a part of that. I will do whatever it takes to protect you from both the terrorists firing bullets and missiles at you and the bureaucrats trying to suffocate you with red tape._

_"Secondly, I recognize that you do whatever it takes to survive. You may end up doing things the politicians don't agree with, things you don't agree with. But you do what you have to. I will never throw you to the wolves for doing what you have to in order to come home alive._

_"Those are the two tenets that I abide by. I would appreciate it if you kept them in mind as well."_

_"Why not tell us this when we first met you?" asked a captain whose name she didn't know yet._

_"Because then my words would've meant nothing to you. For all you would have known, I could be all talk and no action. After this case, I'm hoping there's less of a chance that you'll just brush off what I just said."_

_She glanced over at the Colonel and was relieved to see a slight nod of recognition._

* * *

><p><em>Silence threatened to suffocate the MTAC room.<em>

_"I'm sorry, ma'am," Captain Messer whispered, her eyes moving from the static-laden screens to JJ._

_JJ laid her hand on the Captain's shoulder. "We did everything we could." Everyone in the room listened with rapt attention. "We can't dwell on it. Everyone, take the rest of the day off and come back tomorrow with your heads clear. If we're going to have any chance of turning this around, we need to be able to refocus. And I'll stress one thing: this is no one's fault. When I say take the day off, I don't mean for each of you to spend tonight racking yourselves with guilt. Do something enjoyable or relaxing. That's an order."_

_When she finished, she quickly left the room to escape from ensuing silence._

_As she settled into her office to bury herself in files, she was interrupted._

_"You should follow your own orders."_

_JJ looked up to see Major Fisher standing in front of her desk. "Sorry?"_

_"I don't think you're so different from the rest of us that you would consider files and paperwork to be enjoyable or relaxing."_

_"And if I did?"_

_"I'd consider you an alien or some non-human species."_

_JJ couldn't help but crack a slight smile._

_"You're not blaming yourself are you?" Major Fisher asked._

_"If I told you I'm not, would you believe me?"_

_"No."_

_"Then why ask?"_

_"Because you said, 'this is no one's fault,' but you're blaming yourself. Kinda hypocritical, don't you think?"_

_"So you're the hypocrisy police?"_

_Major Fisher smiled. "Not at all. Like I said, you need to follow your own orders. Go home. Take the rest of the day off."_

_JJ returned the smile. "I'm pretty sure I'm the boss here."_

_"You are. But that doesn't mean you can't take some time off."_

_"The team needs something to work with tomorrow when we reconvene."_

_"And they'll get it, but it doesn't need to be the product of another one of your late nights in the office. You have too many of those."_

_JJ didn't move from her place behind the desk._

_"All right," Major Fisher sighed. "You leave me no choice."_

_JJ watched her in confusion as she walked around the desk._

_"Hey, wha-?" JJ blurted as Major Fisher started pushing JJ's chair – and JJ along with it – around the desk and towards the door._

_"Sorry, but you don't really get a choice here. Colonel Wilder is waiting outside to see if he has to carry you out to your car. Call it a conspiracy of the masses if you want. You're going home too."_

* * *

><p><em>"Hey there, kiddo." Colonel Breen Wilder sauntered into JJ's office.<em>

_JJ's eyes narrowed. "When are you going to stop calling me that?"_

_Colonel Wilder grinned. "Probably never."_

_"How about when I'm 50?"_

_"Kiddo, you're not even 35, and you've already had nearly 7 years with the BAU elite, not to mention you're our esteemed leader now," Major Fisher explained. "You'll always be younger than everyone of your stature."_

_"Great." JJ rolled her eyes. "I should just get myself demoted."_

_"Pffth," Colonel Wilder snorted. "That'll never happen."_

_"Fine. Then I guess I'll just have to call you Breen or maybe Bream. They're fish, right?"_

_He wrinkled his nose. "You can't be serious."_

_Major Fisher and JJ laughed._

_"Sorry I'm late," Captain Messer gasped, bolting into the room. "Lost track of time."_

_"It's all right, kiddo." JJ got up from her desk. "Let's head over to the conference room."_

_Captain Messer made a face. "Kiddo?"_

_JJ smiled vindictively. "Now you know how I feel."_

* * *

><p><em>"You're leaving?" Captain Ly asked. His face reflected the rest of the team's: a mixture of disappointment and sadness.<em>

_"I've completed my assignment. Now I essentially get any post I want."_

_"And you've chosen the BAU," Major Fisher stated rather than asked. It really was sort of a given._

_"I belong there. Besides, I still have to advise your sorry asses from Quantico when I'm needed."_

_"You'll always be needed." Lieutenant Commander Frazier was practically pouting._

_"Nonsense, you don't need me to lead this team. I don't think you ever have. And besides, that's why I trained Montgomery and Nyland."_

_"No offense," Colonel Wilder cut in. "I know you can work wonders, but I don't quite trust the two of them to lead the way I trust you."_

_"You didn't trust me at the beginning either. Give them time."_

* * *

><p>"For having been there less than a year, it sounds like you were close to them."<p>

"I was. Ever read _Harry Potter_? There are just some things you can't help but go through together without ending up close friends."

"It's just surprising to me that you could let people in so quickly." Dr. Zissou picked up a file and started riffling through it.

"Why? Does my file say I'm a 'cold-hearted bitch'?"

Dr. Zissou's hands stopped in their tracks. "Oh no, quite the contrary."

"Then?"

"You seem to me to be the sort of person that shies away from close relationships."

JJ cocked an eyebrow. "I don't mean to toot my own horn by any means, but I think I make connections with people quite easily."

Dr. Zissou smiled. "You form the illusion of connection and closeness quite easily. Actually giving yourself to the relationship is a different story." JJ opened her mouth to protest, but Dr. Zissou put down the file and quickly continued, "But that's something for another time. Instead, tell me about your team."

JJ took a deep breath and then began, "Our team consisted of a couple units. It was a mixture of all the military branches, the State Department, Department of Defense, etc. I mainly worked with five other people, and they're whom I grew close to.

"I guess I'll start with Colonel Breen Wilder. He was a Marine with a long, impressive record. In our team, he led our execution unit." At this Dr. Zissou's eyebrows migrated toward his hairline, so JJ quickly explained, "It sounds like he was head of an assassination squad, but I assure you, it was actually taking the information we'd gotten and using that to strategize the best way to execute the mission.

"His second-in-command – 2IC for short – was Lieutenant Commander Andrew Frazier of the Navy. He's got a quick mind for improvising. If something ever went wrong during a mission, he could always be counted on to find a quick solution.

"Army Major Erica Fisher was the head of our intelligence unit. She had a lot of experience working with the CIA, so she was in charge of dealing with them to acquire and confirm our intel. She was sort of a mama bear – caring and kind until someone got hurt. If that ever happened, you could expect her to growl at and chew out anyone who stood in her way.

"Her 2IC was Marine Captain Ed Ly. He's extremely astute and very well rounded. He can muddle his way through reams of paper packed with information, whittle out the pertinent parts, and then amaze you with stealthy reconnaissance.

"Captain Debra Messer of the Air Force was in charge of our techie unit. She's young, but she plays well with others and her 'toys' also known as any equipment that has electrical parts she can fiddle with."

"That sounds like a rather clinical assessment of them." He had wanted a more personal account of the team, something a little more telling. "I feel I could have gotten that information from their files."

"Explaining our relationship dynamics would be extremely difficult. There's no way I can even put into words what it was like, at least not in a way that I feel will be true to how it actually was."

"Tell me what you can."

"To sum it up, we had our silly moments when we just let go." JJ managed a small smile. "We had this joke that the Colonel, Major and I were the Three Musketeers, while the Captains and Lieutenant Commander were more like the Three Stooges. Three and three, but still one for all, and all for one."

"And now?"

"We're a mere fragment of who we once were."


End file.
